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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Today, A 12 year-old came up to me and said "May I please have a cigarette?". I can't believe kids this age are already so polite.
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03-11-2012 16:02 by
trickz100
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Yoga is just very slow breakdancing for White people.
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03-11-2012 15:58 | Tags: Filtered
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Boogity Boogity Boogity... Lets go racing boys!!!!
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03-11-2012 15:35
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No Gramma, It's not the Oompah Loompah show, it's Jersey Shore.
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03-11-2012 15:02 by
Lewis S.
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I Wish they could take my sex longevity, bottle it and sell it
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03-11-2012 14:01
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I sure hope Flavor Flav remembered to set his clocks forward!
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03-11-2012 13:49 by
Gza
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Why do fat people say they have to start eating right? They've obviously mastered the art of chewing and swallowing.
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03-11-2012 13:46 by
Baddie
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The key to a successful relationship: Tools > Internet Options > Clear history.
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03-11-2012 13:40
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What do you mean you can't deliver pizza to a pillow fort?!?
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03-11-2012 13:25
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Paper cut: A tree's one glorious moment of revenge.
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03-11-2012 13:03
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Doctors say that one piece of bacon takes 9 minutes off of your life. That has to be most delicious form of suicide I have ever heard.
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03-11-2012 13:03
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In Whiskey and Women… The young ones are fine, but I prefer the older ones — well aged and full-bodied.
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03-11-2012 12:44 by
Kisstopher
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Woman first tempted man to eat; he took to drinking of his own accord.
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03-11-2012 12:43
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Lets get this right once and for all: There is NO such thing as a male purse.
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03-11-2012 12:35
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An acquaintance will buy you a drink; a friend will pay off your tab.
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03-11-2012 12:34
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Shout out to all the ladies at church today in the same clothes from the club last night.
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03-11-2012 12:20
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I wonder if fat drug dealers sell diet coke?
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03-11-2012 12:16 by
Baddie
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Facebook account for sale, Friends included & a Girlfriend.
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03-11-2012 12:16
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I remember your face, and I even remember what we talked about, but what the hell was your name again?!
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03-11-2012 12:13
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"This movie has been formatted from it's original version to fit this screen." How in the Hell do they know how big my TV is?!
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03-11-2012 12:08
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