Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   *BREAKING NEWS* The man who recently took Ryanair to court after they misplaced his luggage, has lost his case!

   If “plan A” didn't work, the alphabet has 25 more letters.

   Cops dislike txtn and driving ...Really? This bj and beer should be fine.

   Dude is that Matchbox 20? Turn that up. Said no one ever.

   So let me get this straight, a 747 can carry a space shuttle on its "back", and yet airlines charge for overweight baggage?

   I need to do laundry so bad I'm actually wearing Christmas stockings

   Why are doctors so afraid of apples anyway?

   Teacher told us how Tom Sawyer was a free-spirited tale of misbehaving rascals; then screamed at us to sit still & listen.

   Most priceless thing in my life??? My insanity...it makes everything ok :-)

   A new study says people who sit a lot die sooner. Basically, if you're a tennis umpire with a roommate who paints portraits, you're screwed.

   My nagging cough just told me I should be helping out more around the house.

   Just woke up from a nap with the WORST taste in my mouth

   education shouldn't be a debt sentence.

   Little known fact: George Zimmerman is as white as Barack Hussein Obama

   my wife just fell asleep on the couch with her mouth open... hmmm, tempting!

   ♫♪Yankee Doodle went to town...♫♪ Is Macaroni the feather, thehat, or the pony?

   Be an OPTIMIST Prime and not a NEGAtron.

   Every day 200 million couples make love, 400,000 babies are born, and 140,000 people die.....and who said statistics don't have a beginning, middle, and end.

   It cost 7 million dollars to build the Titanic and 200 million to make a film about it....That's Hollywood

   It so crazy to see how many people are shocked by honesty, and how few by deceit.