Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   The police have trained sniffer dogs to identify criminals who are carrying guns, coke and cash. Or "Mexicans", as I prefer to call them.

   I'm hungrier than a Floridian Zombie!

   Libertarians keep Republicans out of your bedroom and Democrats out of your wallet.

   If coffee or booze can't fix it, then it's a serious problem.

   If the facebook app gets any slower my timeline will be going backward

   In light of recent develops the once popular phrase "Eat Me" has lost popularity!!

   SO THAT"S what a Super Massive Black Hole IS !? HUH ! I was thinking something TOTALLY DIFFERENT !

   You wanna know how my day is going ?? My M&M's Melted in my Hand and Not in My Mouth !

   Today My NASDAQ of friend reports: A loss of 3 friends, thats down from last week. So I need funnier jokes ppl!

   Bath Salt party at my place tonight, parents are out of town!

   These bathsalts sure do make me feel funny.....

   I wish some people's clothes were made of Touch Screen Material !! :0)

   I didn't want my boss to think that I'm touchy & cry easily so when he scolded me I took out onions from my pocket & started cutting them

   One day, all redheads will get a signal and turn on us. Many have already started. It'll be the Walking Red.

   When I want to download illegally, I always surf high risk web sites with viruses in them because it makes me feel like Indiana Jones

   kinda weird to see two grown men doubling on a bike, especially when it's an exercise bike at the gym

   I prefer to believe that Eleanor Rigby was really quite popular,, and that her funeral just happened to coincide with the "American Idol" finale.

   Anyone else with a Blackberry wanna play Draw Nothing?

   FB is turning to be Bravo TV of the internet- too much drama and cat fights!!

   When a Mormon knocks on your door to tell you the "good word" you don't answer....why the hell would you want one to lead your country?