Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   the sun does not rise, it stays still. it's the earth spinning that makes it seem like it moves silly people.

   when I get on facebook I get excited when I see the red numbrs over the globe thing until I open it and find it is for a stupid game request.

   The further you stay from me the longer it takes me to reply to your text.

   The only honest people in the world are small children and drunk people!

   In this lifetime you either win the Triple Crown or you get tendinitis. You can't have both.

   ghetto word of the day dictate ......that hoe say my dictate good

   ready to post something, anything on page 3000

   I wish more people would give me the silent treatment.!!

   I enjoypoetry, long romantic walks in the woods and poking dead things with a stick.

   BOY: "Hi" GIRL: "I have a boyfriend" BOY: "I said 'Hi' not suck my d!ck"

   I enjoy long walks on the Internet ;)

   Who the fnck do you think you are and why are you breathing?!!

   Hey guys, my first time flossing today. Quick question, how do you put the teeth that fell out back in?

   Dear people who post pictures of themselves kissing their lover of the moment; I hope you realise those pictures will come back to bite you in the ass when you are broken up and are back in the market looking for a new partner.

   Still waiting for the best day of my life to happen...!!!

   Can you be addicted to chaos? Date a Ginger and you'll understand

   At my funeral when they're lowering me into the ground I demand they play "Drop it like its hot"!!!

   A slug is just a snail with a housing problem.

   How to fix America: 1. Put all the money into education. 2. More Green Energy. 3. Stop airing Keeping Up with the Kardashians

   "Oh yeah, well my people invented nachos" - Easiest way for a Mexican person to win any argument