Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   There's two kind of people in this world: People that use "lol" or "haha"

   I like girls with curves, if I wanted to see bones, I would go to the damn museum.

   R.I.P. To The B$tches Dying For Attention

   People who don't like bacon cannot be trusted, end of story.

   so tired from working... I wouldn't even take a blow job...

   Never tell a woman to calm down when she's drunk, it's like baptizing a cat. It's not gonna work

   This pill was laying on the seat on the ferry...should I take it?

   Love is blind but hate has perfect 20/20 vision.

   Does anyone remember Tom's last name from Myspace? If he has a Facebook page I want to be his friend. I mean, he was there for me.

   I don't get this hole poking thing.

   Cuddling season is over. It's hott as f**k now. Get away.

   R.I.P Lindsay Lohan : (not really, I'm just practicing.......

   99% of my socks are single and you don't see them crying about it.

   Fonzie never wore a safety harness jumping the 14 garbage cans in front of Arnold's or jumping the shark tank. Don't be a Potsie Wallenda, ditch the harness..

   So I was in a banana suit earlier while I was eating a banana. I couldn't decide if it was canabalism or canabananalism.

   doesn't really understand the big deal about walking a tightrope across Niagara Falls. I've been married for 14 years, try walking that tightrope Wallenda!

   Most Americans are overweight according to a study done by my eyeballs.

   Honey-girl,,,,, your skirt is so short ,,,, your STD's are showing

   The world world be a cleaner place if we gave blind people brooms instead of canes

   Afroman was going to make another cd....but then he got high.