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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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If you are living your life without giving a 'F', you are only living a LI[ ]E.
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07-13-2012 11:32 by
Danmanz
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Mic Jagger'snew book says he slept with 4,000 women!..........Well 3,999 if you subtract David Bowie!!!
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07-13-2012 11:20 by
Abraham Lincoln
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☑Hockey mask ☑Machete ☑Sexually-irresponsible campers Let's roll...
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07-13-2012 11:09 by
Phoenix1029
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Why do you date girls that look like men? Why not just date a man?
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07-13-2012 10:57
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Restaurant hosts: Stop asking, we all want a booth.
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07-13-2012 10:39 by
Huck
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Got a headache from looking at all the options of headache relief.
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07-13-2012 10:20 by
flinnie
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I would pay good money for a painting of Snoop Dogg and Dog the Bounty Hunter playing poker.
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07-13-2012 10:17 by
flinnie
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Who lives in a pineapple under the sea? IDK, I have Direct TV!
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07-13-2012 09:58
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Shout out to whoever got these gas prices down in July. now lets hit da two dollar mark.
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07-13-2012 06:50 by
jitney
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My sons argue n fight all day n never share. Y'all shared a womb and before that a sack now you can't share a friggin bag of chips ugggghh
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07-13-2012 06:48 by
jitney
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Steven Tyler is quitting American Idol after two seasons! I sure am going to miss that old lady!!!
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07-13-2012 06:14 by
Abraham Lincoln
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Don't even TRY a home invasion at my house,,, I've got legions of Lego people ready to launch a campaign of foot pain terrorism at my command...
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07-13-2012 06:01 by
snotty
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I have NO idea what a bejeezus is,,, but apparently mine scares easy.
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07-13-2012 05:58 by
snotty
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When my girlfriend is angry, I go to Facebook and constantly refresh my relationship status to see if I'm single again.
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07-13-2012 05:56
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It really sucks seeing a profile pic of two girls and the hot one is always someone else.
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07-13-2012 03:43 by
Danmanz
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That dolphin tattoo on your ass was SO hot when you were 18, Now it looks like a used condom!
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07-13-2012 03:42
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Got bit by a spider.......Now I got to go find a skyscraper to climb.
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07-13-2012 03:38 by
Danmanz
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so....I often joke that my wife is too fat for sex....I call her 'Missionary Impossible'....
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07-12-2012 23:50 by
Slickpony
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“Don't drink and drive, When you can Smoke and fly! “
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07-12-2012 22:25 by
StonerDudee
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I hurt my back playing golf today,I fell off the ball washing machine.
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07-12-2012 22:24 by
Rokkn
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