Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Farmers complaining about the drought. Why not just buy corn at the store??..... idiots

   You haven't lived if you have never done a line of coke off a girl's ass.

   Doggy style, because sometimes you both just like the same tv show.

   Whoever said money doesn't grow on trees obviously never grew marijuana...

   Record temps again tomorrow....If I can find a lemonade stand, I'll be on it like a hillbilly on his half-sister!

   Friendships must be built on a solid foundation of alcohol, sarcasm, inappropriateness, and shenanigans.

   Got a problem with me? I'm pretty sure a status on Facebook won't fix it.

   I have yet to see a security guard I couldn't beat the s$it out of.

   When someone says "be honest" what they really mean is: lie to me, but be as convincing as possible.

   8 planets, 1 universe, 204 countries, 809 islands, 7 seas and I just HAD to find yo dumbass.

   I hate it when teachers say "From all this talking, I assume you're done." From all this complaining, I assume you're single.

   Congrats on being one of the "cool kids" in Highschool. Too bad about the rest of your life though.

   Gay marriage is legal in 6 states. Having sex with a horse is legal in 23. Good going, America.

   Please don't dress like a slut unless you're really a slut...It's very confusing to us guys.

   Thanks to "50 Shades of Grey" someones fingers smell like 50 cans of Chicken of The Sea.

   Not enough people realize the value of slacking off.

   As a skeptic I find it very hard to believe in myself.

   when comforting a grammar nazi I always say "there, they're, their"

   I can see you're upset. Maybe you should post more about it on Facebook. That should elimnate any more drama.

   Romeo and Juliet is Not a Love Story... It's a 3-Day relationship between a 13 year-old and a 17 year-old that caused 6 Deaths. Sincerely, -Everyone who actually Read it.