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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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I hate a liar more than a thief. A thiefs only after my salary. A liars after my reality.
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07-30-2012 21:09 by
Hazey Kush Clouds
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its no longer the little birdy that told you something. now days its "i seen it on facebook."
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07-30-2012 20:47 by
Reznor
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Just remember foks, when ya ask to borrow someone's phone....nobody takes the newspaper into the bathroom anymore!!
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07-30-2012 20:18 by
urboyblue
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World population:7,018,521,683....just incase some1 starts feeling too important
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07-30-2012 19:53 by
@pakzi
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I am only writing this so people wont think I'm loney while sitting at the bar by myseld....
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07-30-2012 19:20 by
memphismayfire
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Therapy has taught me that it is all your fault.
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07-30-2012 17:28 by
Aaron
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They need to put more spider poison in these air freshners .
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07-30-2012 17:05
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If Costco doesn't start serving beer samples using a topless server, I'm seriously considering taking my business to Hooters!
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07-30-2012 16:59
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Whatever you do, please don't take off your...AHHHH!!! I asked you to not take off your makeup!
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07-30-2012 16:58 by
Father Goose
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OK..... Not making an Olympic Soccer joke today was one of my Gooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooals
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07-30-2012 16:58 by
snotty
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My refrigerator beeps for a problem, but it has trouble being more specific... "What's that, little guy? Timmy's fallen down the well?"
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07-30-2012 16:50 by
snotty
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The first rule of Passive Aggressive Club is sure, just talk about Passive Aggressive Club all you want... No, It's fine. Go ahead.. I don't mind.. WHATEVER..
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07-30-2012 16:46 by
snotty
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I wish I got as excited to see other humans as my dog gets when he sees other dogs.
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07-30-2012 16:43
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Sometimes I wonder if I'm being selfish by using my voice to just sing in the car instead of to save the music industry..
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07-30-2012 16:42 by
snotty
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Hey republican..ssshhhh....you had me at "common sense"
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07-30-2012 16:41
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If I had a dog,, I'd say "I have a bone to pick with you!" And then we'd go to PetSmart to pick a bone,, And we'd laugh & laugh & laugh,,,,,
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07-30-2012 16:40 by
snotty
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I know "C.G.I." is getting more and more realistic,,,,, but I can almost always tell if a movie has real dinosaurs or not.
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07-30-2012 16:27 by
snotty
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Nothing angers me more than a prematurely broken shell in my Taco Kit
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07-30-2012 16:25 by
SEAN
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I'm not watching the Olympics, but I've seen Cool Runnings, so like, I get it.
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07-30-2012 16:24 by
SEAN
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A recent gallop poll shows that horses prefer trotting.
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07-30-2012 16:24 by
SEAN
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