Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Screw YOLO! Give me a ROLO!!!

   I'm such a maverick. I refuse to make Sun tea. I'm making Moon tea, and let me tell you...that $hit's been on the back porch for 8 years and it STILL ain't done.

   My Level Of Maturity Changes Depending On Who I'm With

   they say dogs and owners look alike.. is that why Obamas dog is sportin a fro and is black an white?

   I bet women's trust issues with men started with a weatherman.

   When I set the bar too high, I just go under it.

   If I had a hammer, I'd most likely b!tch about my lack of nails.

   Don't stare at me during sex! I don't know you!

   I like you so let's get this nightmare they call a relationship started.

   How does a person from New Zealand find a sheep in tall grass? Very satisfying.

   Most folks don't know this, but you can quietly be Heterosexual, H0m0sexual or Metrosexual.

   BOSS: Do you understand? ME: Yeah... BOSS: *Walks away* ME: What did she just say?

   Many people don't know this, but you can quietly be a Christian, Muslim or Athiest.

   I spend 87% of my energy to appear normal.

   Don't let this smile fool you. I'll put it in your ass without asking.

   Rick Ross made a song call "Hold Me Back"....He dont seem to realize how many people that would take

   I'd prefer it if you broke my heart with rough sex.

   Vegetarian is the old Indian word for sucks at hunting.

   What kind of idiot would take a cab from West Philly to Bel Air?

   All you ladies in full support of G@Y rights; Its all fun and games until your man comes out of the closet or you lose your man to another guy.