Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Somewhere, someone is thinking about you and the impact you made in their life.... It's not me, I think you're a prick.

   Republican convention next week.... Hurricane Isaac is predicted to hit Florida next week.... Even Mother Nature doesn't like Republicans.

   (o_o) dat wierd feeling you get when you take a sit and it is still warm coz some jus got up from it... *very discomforing*

   they did an MRI of my brain.....they found nothing.

   Its cute when a slut demands respect. B!tch the only thing your are getting is an STD.

   I wish STD's on all people who still say YOLO.

   I rarely slip and fall, but when I do, I do it in front of a lot of people.

   Does Roseetta Stone work? I want to learn to speak Mexican!

   ....Nothing says "F@#K YOU" better than "your call has been forwarded to automatic voice message center"

   When I was young, I had to walk all the way to the TV to change the channels.

   I'm not certain, exactly, when I became "old". But, I've narrowed it down to sometime between 1988 and last night, when I noticed Song Pop classify "Guns 'n Roses" as "Classic Rock"

   Eat pu$$y; it's organic.

   It's 2012. We're supposed to have flying cars and stuff. But no... Just pajamas that look like jeans.

   I swear ugly people find love faster.

   If a car in front of me is driving slow, I move to the side a little so the cars behind me can see I'm not causing the traffic

   I want to make a puzzle that says "Get a job" after its completed.

   I remember the day I used to be so proud of my son. Now look at him.

   deep in the forest theres a metal box that controls most forest settings. toggle birds, set default leaf size, select season, squirrel ratio

   Ladies, holding out on sex with your man to get what you want will not work. He will just take longer showers.

   Capitalism: work hard, become rich like rommney. Or sit at home and be a poor loser