Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
I suspect Adele ate her last name. 
What the hell did we do during blow jobs before cell phones?
The biggest obstacle bi-racial, Kentucky couples face is agreeing on which liquor name to give their daughter.
My dream is to become the first smart person to be interviewed by a newscaster live at a scene.
"Message Seen" in Facebook I'm is the absolute best way to weed out "Friends"
Why is the literature with my ADD meds so long?? Don't they know I have ADD??
The Judge denied Jerry Sandusky's request to serve 30-60 in a Juvenile Detention Center.
It makes me very uncomfortable when the doctor is checking my balls for lumps. Especially during a prostate exam.
My girlfriend wanted matching tattoos but they are permanent so I just asked her to marry me instead…
We're all just nudists in disguise.
blames everyone for his problems."Except Shaggy, because we all know it wasn't him".
I watched 5 minutes of baseball earlier. As soon as I realized it wasn't Bull Durham, I changed channels.
When I die I want the Cleveland browns to be my Pallbearers so they can let me down one last time
When I give a new girl the tour of my place I like to open the basement door while whispering "thaaats where the maaaagic happens..."
So, if I'm to believe Apple, my thumbs have grown half an inch and my ears changed shape since last year…
I have come to the conclusion that you can post almost anything on Facebook and most people will automatically assume it to be factual. The odds of this are increased if the post is witty and is accompanied by a cute picture.
I found out why my eyes are always watering during sex... It's the mace.
You know a woman invented the tape measure, because no guy ever said "Hey, let's see how big this thing REALLY is"
looking to trade a 9x13 Tupperware bowl for a 13x9 Tupperware bowl. The 9x13 is just to long to fit in my Microwave Oven.
I was at my date's house and told her "I sure hope your couch pulls out, cause I don't."
Site Links
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com
