Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I Just turn off FaceBook because I am bored... 10 minutes later I turn ON FaceBook because I am bored...

   Facebook: a place where people post passive aggressive things, rather than directly addressing the issue. If you think this is about you, well it probably is ;)

   Taylor Swift waved at a boy the other day but he didn't wave back.. So she's bringing a new album

   They should just go ahead and put a volume setting on my TV that says "Eating Doritos".

   The only thing more humiliating than taking a dump at your boyfriends house is asking him where the plunger is…

   loves a liquid lunch!!

   recently accused of being insensitive!! And I thought, how did this fat bit*h get her wheel chair up the stairs to my house?

   it beer thirty yet??

   keeping herself busy with coffee until it's time to get DRUNK :)

   Just turned on my TV to discover Joe Biden's teeth are now burned into the screen......

   Man, I beat my meat like I just caught it breaking into my apartment.

   thinking about smashing my face through this screen and becoming Seal for Halloween

   I've had six red bulls so of course I'm counting all the leaves on the trees as I drive past them.

   I hate it when totally random strangers ask me stupid questions like "Why are you licking me?"

   I am pretty sure I have regained my virginity.

   If you block me, don't be surprised if you look out your window to see me making out with your garden gnome.

   Ladies a real gentleman asks for your name not your number

   Don't you hate when you meet someone attractive as hell with the personality of a wall? -.-

   I think Biden would be a hell of a Walmart door greeter.

   Biden's teeth were so white last night, they're voting for Romney.