Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Having a p enis doesn't make you a man. Getting mad at some Ikea wood pieces after not reading the instructions makes you a real man.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 14:10 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon Music doesn't deserve our bad memories.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 14:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Quick! Marry me, I'll explain later.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 14:07 by Kisstopher Comments (0)  


   messageicon A broken spirit doesn't stay broken forever. When it's whole again, God have mercy on my tormenters, because I won't.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 14:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon to all bullies out there enjoying what they do: One day you will have kids too...have fun when they get bullied, I know I will! ;)
←Rate | 10-14-2012 13:22 Comments (1)  


   messageicon "Balloon boy" and his Dad are watching this launch, envious on an incalculable level!
←Rate | 10-14-2012 13:03 by Jeremy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Now accepting wagers as to which will be the faster and more prolific descent today: Felix Baumgartner space jump or the Buffalo Bills....
←Rate | 10-14-2012 12:13 by sully Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cortana dies at the end of Halo 4. There, I just saved you 6 hours of your life.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 11:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, if he's wearing a hat in every picture; guess what's under that hat. Yep, nothing…
←Rate | 10-14-2012 10:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys, if her FB is full of pictures but none of her; run, run like the wind…
←Rate | 10-14-2012 10:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you think 7 yrs is bad luck for breaking a mirror, try a broken condom!
←Rate | 10-14-2012 10:32 by Jack Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Rawr" does NOT mean "I love you" in dinosaur. You ever seen Jurassic Park? It means, I'm going to eat you
←Rate | 10-14-2012 10:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon What does the Michael Jackson action figure have written on the back of the box? Not suitable for children. Colors may vary.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 09:48 by Jack Comments (0)  


   messageicon give fat people a break. They have a lot on their plate...
←Rate | 10-14-2012 09:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My ex-girlfriend said she broke up with me because I was childish and immature. I think it's because she's a big dumb stinkyhead that's jealous of my awesome Transformers collection
←Rate | 10-14-2012 07:45 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm going to switch my car insurance from Geico to Allstate, then to Statefarm, then back to Geico. If my calculations are correct, they should owe me $837.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 07:44 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon The doctor said I may have a strained abdominal muscle which is cool because that means I have an abdominal muscle
←Rate | 10-14-2012 07:42 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon When the car in front of me is driving slow, I move to the side a bit so the cars behind me can see I'm not causing the traffic.
←Rate | 10-14-2012 07:41 by hihuggiehi Comments (1)  


   messageicon Occasionally, I like to go to walmart, buy a jar of Vaseline, a cucumber and a Bottle of Gin and wink at the cashier
←Rate | 10-14-2012 07:41 by hihuggiehi Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am so lazy that I don't even run in Grand theft auto
←Rate | 10-14-2012 07:41 Comments (0)  



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