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HA HA !! Kim Kardashian is Killing Kanye's Popularity ! What a D Bag ! 
1920: "May I have this dance?" 1950: "Want to go to the drive-in?" 1980: "What's your sign?" 2012: "Here's a picture of my pe**s."
I think its about time we put the movie 2012 in the comedy section...
i hate when I delete and add someones phone number so many times that I memorize it
I'm not saying shes fat, I'm just saying if I had to pick five of the fattest people I know, she'd be three of them.
I bet the person who invented lunges was really just some dude adjusting his sack.
I'd be concerned with making a concerted effort to not write '2012' on my checks if it wasn't 2013, and the fact that I haven't written an actual check in over 10 years.
Whenever I start to hate my job I think about the camera crew that has to follow the Kardashian's 24/7.
Letsh Have Shex! - Horny Sean Connery
I will dance with the devil, but I will always take the lead.
Technically they're not prostitutes if you refuse to pay them.
I once stopped a woman's hiccups by pinching her nipple, I had no idea if it would work but guys will think of anything to touch a boob.
To predict how someone is going to treat you, look at how they treat the waiters.
''Now I ain't sayin' she a gold digger, but she havin' ma' baby. Now I ain't sayin' she a ho either, but we ain't married.''
As if the world didn't have enough Kardashian genetic material already.
Dear atheist, if God doesn't exist, then explain why Kim Kardashian is famous?
Just because I don't like you doesn't mean I want you to stop being in love with me.
HIM: What's wrong? HER: Nothing. HIM: Sure? HER: Yes. HIM: Ok. Well, I'll go now. HER: Whatever! HIM: What's wrong? HER: Nothing - statusBroughtToYouByPMS
How do some people manage to get their plastic smiles & fake laughters glued to their faces for so long? #Apologies to plastics & glues
Was thinking of buy my boyfriend a bunkbed so I could be on top more often
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