Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   That halftime show was the best....said no one ever!

   There will be a huge demand on all European hair this week! So buy stock and shares in hair!

   Need to stop drinking this....its like 50 million Beyonces on the stage all of a sudden......

   ‎1st half take...my grandma could've defended better than the 49ers!

   I wish they would quit interupting the commercials with this lame football game!

   My idea of a Superbowl is a toilet that cleans itself.

   In the off season Ray Lewis works out at the North Pole with Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, and Blitzen.

   I heard Colin Kaepernick is going to lip-sync his play calls

   Who"s gonna win the Super Bowl? I predict Harbaugh wins hands down.

   Time to watch me some Men in Tights. Yay Superbowl!

   Tony Romo tried to throw a Superbowl party but it was intercepted

   Not even a gun range has enough good guys with a gun to stop one bad guy with a gun!

   Just saw an ad that read: "Fluffer wanted for movie set". They must have a lot of pillows, huh? Well, I sent my resume in, wish me luck!

   First song on the radio this morning was "I got you babe"... for a second I thought I was re-living yesterday... and that I was Bill Murray...

   A woman's a**hole is like a 9 volt battery. You know you shouldn't, but sooner or later you're gonna put your tongue on it.

   Are those Chinese tattoos on your neck the symbols for unemployment?

   Why raise your middle finger to a hater when you can break their jaw?!

   nature runs a restaurant called Karma. It's a place where there is no need to place any order. You are automatically served what you deserve.

   Burger King's new company slogan: "When it comes to hunger, we don't horse around"...

   a cup of Starbucks coffee and a cup of Tim Hortons coffee were talking and the Starbucks coffee asked the Tim Horton coffee "Why aren't you as bitter as I am?" The Tim Hortons coffee responded.. "Can't help it, I am Canadian!"