Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I told my wife I wanted to try anal sex, she said she's be having sex with an as*hole for years.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 23:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Boy nothing says band wagon than Harlem Shake.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 23:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The President's claim that the economy is improving, and the news that "Girls Gone Wild" has filed for bankruptcy seem to fly in the face of compatibility.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 21:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lets flip a coin, heads I get tail, tails I get head.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 21:43 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am pretty sure that Dennis Rodman is qualified to be a Democratic Congressman from California'
←Rate | 03-01-2013 21:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you watch the Harlem Shake backwards, it's a video about a guy who parties longer than everyone else.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 21:26 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you get cheated on over and over & you decide to stay with that person, You're a fuc&in idiot and deserve everything thats coming to you.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 21:24 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon *Showering together* Girl: "Baby I want you to do bad things to me ;)" Guy: *Puts shampoo in her eyes*
←Rate | 03-01-2013 21:23 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Thongs are like barbed wire fences. They protect the property, but don’t block the view.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 21:22 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sorry, Mr. Homeless Guy, here’s the story. I’m in college. I work part time and I can only support one of our alcohol problems.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 21:20 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon IKE if you love that feeling when you finally take your shoes off at the end of the day.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 21:19 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon When advertising your business on the side of your car it’s a good idea not to drive like a complete as&hole
←Rate | 03-01-2013 21:18 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm already sorry for what I'm going to do this weekend.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 21:17 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Too many faithful girls are single, and too many h&es are taken.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 21:17 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Half of life is screwing up…the other half is dealing with it.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 21:16 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon If your middle name is Lee, you probaby have an arrest record.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 21:11 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook: A place where someone will send you endless invites to play games, but won't invite you to their party.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 20:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I could scroll down my Facebook page and write a country song!!
←Rate | 03-01-2013 19:47 by urboyblue Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you have a problem with me, call me and we can talk, if you don't have my number, you don't know me well enough to have a problem with me...
←Rate | 03-01-2013 19:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon yo' mama is so fat that when she walked infront of the TV last Saturday night, we missed the entire third period of the hockey game.
←Rate | 03-01-2013 19:44 Comments (0)  



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