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Any time I listen to Charles Barkley commentate, I struggle to determine if he is talking about a basketball game or the lunch crowd at Burger King. 
This just in..... 2 white males in shootout in Atlanta
I have been thoroughly researching the native Potatoes of Couch and have become part of their tribe.
Kevin Ware will be signing autographs at ihop tomorrow.
On Twitter, I keep seeing the hashtag #nowthatchersdead. Just to clarify, Cher isn't dead....
Why did the chicken cross the road? To escape North Korea's long range missiles.
MLM's…aka "PYRAMID SCHEMES" is just like the LOTTERY. It gives MILLIONS of people hopes & dreams but in reality they just end up losing money while ONLY A FEW hit the jackpot.
I took a sexual harassment course this afternoon ....I think I'm gonna be pretty good at it.
Did jay-z call beyonce feyonce after he proposed?
party at my house bring booze then leave.
MLM’s such as "Nerium Internationa"l are the modern day equivalent of snake oil peddlers
so they wait till next year has officially begun
I'm fully clothed and still look hotter than all these h0es dressed like it's 95 degrees
Thinking that a woman will never cut your heart out and slice it into cute little pieces for her next lover is so cute and naive.
I'm sorry your internet boyfriend cheated on you. I hope your husband will dry your tears.
I'm such a giving person; if cannibals were cooking me, I'd give them tips on how to make me more tender.
Just when you want to be a good person again , someone new to stalk shows up.
I hope I can still remember the dance to Thriller when I become a Zombie.
My neighbours were listening to some pretty cool music until the arseholes asked me to turn it down.
Self Righteousness is a form of guilt that arises from discrimination 