Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   The first thing I thought of was that a bruins game had gotten out of hand

   A simple sign that reads "This is a bomb-free zone" would have prevented all this.

   We should probably get ready for the Celebrity Plea for Donation....like they cant flip the bill themselves...

   I know its Gay pride week, but seeing a rainbow confederate flag is really going to the extreme

   So do we need new stricker Bomb laws now?

   wondering.... If they are old enough to go to the store.... are they old enough to get bread?

   Tonight, and only tonight, I'm rooting for the Red SOX

   It's sad to think that the world we live in will never be a peaceful place

   I don't know why we just don't take a bunch of nukes and level the middle east and those towel heads once and for all

   I feel a tele-thon coming on. Ben Affleck get your guys ready..

   The Boston Marathon explosion is a terrible tragedy, but what bugs me is all the stupid FB people sitting eating doritos now postinf stupid candle photos and thoughts and prayer crap, get off your butts and make it a safer world

   getting half a D is better than getting no D

   CNN:" No Kenyan athletes injured in the Boston explosion" those guys are already home CNN

   I hate when a guy fingers me and texts his girlfriend at the same time. I always get the weaker hand.

   Inspecting mirrors is a job I could really see myself doing.

   there's a difference between a country girl and some slut with a hat

   I can never invite the neighbors into my house because they might recognize their stuff.

   RECYCLING RULE 101: if no one saw what clothes you were wearing today, its totally fine to wear them again tomorrow.

   it's so expensive being a woman. I know because I have financed a few.

   "I had one stuffy nostril and one runny nostril..." is how I'm starting tonights suicide note