Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   should I paint my nails light pink or nude? - Kim Kardashian

   I'm here for my ballet lessons, so move over because I look damn good in a tutu

   You know there comes a point where you should say NO while watching a reality show of a couple in Alaska digging a deep hole by hand in frozen ground for an outhouse because the other one has a frozen poopsicle in it. What is wrong with me?

   There are two different kind of people in the world, "born" ones and "made" ones.

   Taking back your EX is like buying your shi$ back from your own garage sale..

   If you want someone to listen to you, start the conversation with..I shouldn't be telling you this..

   How do people dumb enough to buy $500 sunglasses make enough money to buy $500 sunglasses?

   You can tell its a Sunday when Facebook erupts in regret.

   When they say "all expenses paid," does that include bail?

   Sometimes I touch your avatar inappropriately

   Squirrels have 4 teeth.... Jealous Tennessee?

   You might be addicted to Facebook if you read my post's every day...

   turned around in bed to say goodnight to my beautiful lady...after three days I wonder why she doesn't have the decency to stop saying "who are you.? Please let me go!"

   Just an observation but.....I believe this exotic dancer might make a little more money if she would wax her mustache

   Just want to thank all the people who reviewed "Star Wars" on Netflix. You guys swayed me, I'll check it out

   If the Starbucks is less than a block away, it's an extension of your house and you can go in your pajamas.. That's the law

   So is PMS also called "game of hormones"?

   I'm thinking of getting a tattoo saying, "I'll regret this one day"

   I just seen someone update their status on Facebook to "I Wish Every Guy Was Like Jack From The Titanic." What... Dead at the bottom of the ocean?

   You've never been truly drunk until you've had to use a barstool as a walker to get home.