Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I stepped in a big pile of Obama at the dog park this morning.

   Obama says Bashar crossed the "red line" after using chemical weapons. So it's ok to kill thousands but don't you dare use chemical weapons.

   I get it, you're an a$$hole. You don't have to keep proving it to me.

   Mistakes are very fond of me.

   Just been watching Ladies Beach volleyball and there's already been a wrist injury...but I should be ok by friday;)

   Do not overly trust journalists coz they are more concerned with selling newspapers than telling the truth.

   … you might be gay if you bend over and see 4 balls

   Justin Bieber has planned a trip to space. He's going to boldly go where everyone wants him to stay.

   I bet the worst part about being single is knowing that even Hitler found someone who loved him

   Lighting a cigarette immediately after buckling your seat belt is like saying "I wanna die soonish, just not today."

   I hate when people asks me: What happened to the sweet old you? Well B**chhhes like you killed it!!

   I'm just surprised Superman didn't step in to prevent them from rebooting the Superman franchise again.

   The great thing about being a guy is I don't have to put on a "face" to go outside. All I have to do is make sure my nutsack isn't showing and I'm pretty much golden.

   FUN SCIENCE FACT: When an Australian reads a really stupid post,,,, They roll their eyes counterclockwise

   I am NOT playing "Hard-to-Get". I'm playing "I-Don't-Want-You"

   mosquitoes are natures way of fighting nudity.

   ATTENTION ANYONE UNDER 25: There was a time Ice Cube was the baddest rapper on the planet. No, seriously. Stop laughing. It’s true.

   Men are usually too focused on the cleavage in the shirt to notice the crazy in the eyes.

   Married people have 6 priorities: 1) Convince yourself you're happy. 2) Convince spouse you're happy. 3) Convince friends you're happy. 4) Convince workmates you’re happy 5) Convince relatives you’re happy 6) Convince neighbors you’re happy

   Men aren’t as emotional as women because evolution realized early on that you can’t kill a spider by sharing your feelings.