Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Happy fathers day to the real dads out there....not you sperm donors

   My suicide note will probably just be my phone left unlocked

   You can not argue with a drunk woman, and you can not argue with a sober woman....Figure that one out guys.

   When God created marriage, man said "cool, steady poon" and God replied "right...the yoke's on you..."

   Thumbs-Up for PS4 and Thumbs-down for XBOX ONE.

   For Father's Day, I just want to wear my Crocs and Ed Hardy shirt and still be loved.

   I'm white, but not go to a yard sale at 7am to get all the "good stuff" white...

   Chill, single moms. You don't see us single dads celebrating mother's day!

   Ladies, if you are not that good an artist on paper, what makes you think you are a good artists on your eyebrows? Stop domestic violence against eyebrows!!

   I love my smile! It's best though when it's reflected back on the faces of others!

   There is a good reason why they call it XBOX ONE; You take ONE look at it and go and buy yourself a PS4!

   Father's Day; the most confusing day in a trailer park where chances are your father might also be your older brother.

   We now live in a wold where you are noticed, acknowledged and financially rewarded for being a douchebag while all the nice and good guys are ignored and neglected. Case in point, Kanye, Bieber, Kim, Minaj, etc

   Doctor: How is your headache? Me: She is fine.

   #RealMenHandleThereBusiness #Manup #growup #showup #liveitup "Happy Fathers Day!" -take pride in what is yours and be proud of the human you created :)

   The ONLY 2 acceptable excuses a man can't spend time with his child is if he's DEAD or IN JAIL, Happy Father's Day

   Happy Fathers day to all the guys out there... (No not single moms) sorry ladies but you had Mothers Day and you will never replace a man as a dad so stop with the double dipping...

   If you're fearful about the government spying on you while you're online, hang out on Myspace. Nobody is going to spy on you there.

   happy fathers day to all the ones who came home with the gallon of milk

   Fathers day, the most confusing day in the ghetto...