Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 2463 of 5594

   messageicon The only reason I drink is to celebrate not being dead.
←Rate | 06-28-2013 14:21 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Never under estimate the predictability of stupidity.
←Rate | 06-28-2013 14:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Paula Dean is currently at home watching the George Zimmerman trial in disgust.
←Rate | 06-28-2013 13:53 by YourFavOriteAhole Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys, putting the word “Swag” in your Bio is a good way of telling girls you didn't finish school & your job is selling crack on the corner.
←Rate | 06-28-2013 13:51 by YourFavOriteAhole Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please stop praying for my grandpa you are making him too strong. He broke out of the hospital & cops say their tasers don't work on him :(
←Rate | 06-28-2013 13:47 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear advertisers. I'm playing a game I downloaded for free. What about me screams I want to buy your product?
←Rate | 06-28-2013 12:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Women use more words to drop subtle hints than to actually tell the thing.
←Rate | 06-28-2013 12:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who give an unconditional credit to the work of original thinker, writer and doer, deserve an equal plaudit. JOKES they deserve a kick in the ass.
←Rate | 06-28-2013 12:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon 911: What's your emergency? Me: Do you think I'm pretty
←Rate | 06-28-2013 11:58 by Sarah Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♫ ♫ I don't know what to do. I don't now WHAT to DO. High ho the dairy ho....I think I'll just drink some wine ♪ ♪
←Rate | 06-28-2013 11:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some of you are so dumb, I don't even know how you found the internet.
←Rate | 06-28-2013 11:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Surprise sex is the best way to wake up... unless you're in prison
←Rate | 06-28-2013 11:45 by J.D. Comments (0)  


   messageicon "We support gay marriages!!" Signed, wedding planners and divorce lawyers.
←Rate | 06-28-2013 11:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon *christopher walken giving tour of apt* this is my.. walken closet. and these boots. these boots were made.. *long unnecessary pause* for walken
←Rate | 06-28-2013 10:56 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon first rule of fight club is no fighting. welcome to contradicton club everyone have a seat and dont have a seat. also this isnt contradicton club
←Rate | 06-28-2013 10:52 by hiyourjon Comments (0)  


   messageicon I willing to bet all those students with sick student loans weren't business majors...
←Rate | 06-28-2013 10:06 Comments (1)  


   messageicon it is very hard to defend Nigerians as druglords with that big WHITE line on their national flag.
←Rate | 06-28-2013 09:36 by matome Comments (0)  


   messageicon Paula Deen at home watching the Trayvon Martin case just licking the white part out of Oreos then stepping on the black parts
←Rate | 06-28-2013 09:19 by Fadolo Comments (0)  


   messageicon How Am I suppost to keep up this "Dreamy Hair",,, With wind's like this? LOL!
←Rate | 06-28-2013 08:51 by DJ-Dan the man Askeland Comments (0)  


   messageicon Many guys think all women are crazy. That's not true. If they knew one well enough, they wouldn't think that anymore. They'd know it first hand.
←Rate | 06-28-2013 08:26 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left