Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Subway uses the slogan "eat fresh"...it makes me wonder if the other restaurants are fresh too because they don't say they are

   We all hate things in others which is already in us.

   I wish I was as carefree as my Step Son's, picking their noses and then tapping away on MY keyboard!!!!

   Nothing ruins a good porn like a malnourished donkey

   Sorry Monday...I'm just not that into you.

   If you could choose between world peace or Bill Gates Money.......what color would your Maserati be?

   What is the job application at Hooters like? Do they give you a bra and say "Here. Fill this out."?

   It's not the snooze that gets me up, it's the shame of the 5th time..

   They're gearing us up for a race war. Don't play into it, Americans....

   How many Oreos is too many?,,,,,,, Is it 25?,,,,,,,,,,, I feel like it should be more than 25

   IKEA now designs temporary houses for refugees which is weird because I thought they already did that.

   The older I get the more use I have for the phrase "bite me."

   Ego ; your total erroneous ideas about yourself.

   Happy Canada D'eh! Now let's get drunk!

   i compare my last relationship to Forrest Gump and Jenny. I was retarded and she was a w*ore...

   The longest distance in the world is from Monday morning to Friday afternoon.

   Meagan Good box probably taste like Hawaiian bread, a fruit salad, the happiness of 10 freed slaves and tears from the Immaculate Mary

   Doing a 'selfie' actually means something quite different than what I had originally thought. Sorry weird stranger, whom I called a 'sticky handed monkey pounder'. My bad ツ

   We are around 7 billion and we have differences but can we at least agree that a person found guilty in rape deserves the death sentence?

   Paula Deen is very pleased that the USSC is allowing f@gs to get married.....especially the coloured ones