Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I'm feeling good, I guess that's because I haven't seen anybody today.

   I mean I was in a good mood, but that was before I wake up.

   Sure Rome wasn't built in a day but it burnt in a day didn't it?

   When I see an ugly obese woman pushing a cart full of kids in a store, I immediately think "Who keeps fuck!ng you?"

   if you build something strong against fools, a more intelligent fool we appear and ruin all your effort.

   Happy 4th of July! We did it America! We've almost completely ruined everything!

   I laugh every time I hear the phrase "Career Driven"

   gottenSeeing how fat George Zimmerman has gotten, we need to ask did he shoot Trayvon because he was black or for his skittles.

   Tim Tebow is under investigation by the IRS. It seems he recently joined an organization called The Patriots.

   buying bottles rockets and crown royal! good day to be a grown-up

   If you love someone set them free; if she comes back it means she doesn't have confidence and turn her off again.

   Love me or hate me. Either way I'm on your mind and I'm flattered.

   Happy Independence Day! Our founding fathers fought hard to give us the freedom to blow shit up...... Make them proud!!!

   Point your camera the other way, stupid! You keep taking pictures of yourself.

   Thyme flies when you forcefully knock over the spice rack.

   The case of beer I bought for the 4th somehow shrank by 2/3rds last night.

   Happy 4th of July my American friends. We got you a gift. His name is Justin Bieber. Keep him!! Love Canada.

   Nothing hides your feelings like the backspace key

   The only algebra you need is: The quanity of the crazy is adversely porportionate to the quality of the poon.

   I was going to paint my dogs’ nails but I’m sure the other b*tches would make fun of her.