Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Amazon is now offering Special Christmas Drone Deliveries to Pakistan!

   It’s the anniversary of the attack on Pearl Harbor. Expecting any minute that Whitehouse will mark the event by tweeting a pic of Obama on vacation in Hawaii.

   Kanye West is busy editing Nelson Mandela's Wikipedia page so it features his picture.

   Today is one of those days where I wonder where it all went wrong. Then I realize it's never been right.

   One Direction vs Justin Bieber - Who's Selling More Perfume?

   you ever had a job where you would just sit on the toilet just to kill time?

   If TuPac and Biggie were still alive Kanye would be folding T-shirts at the Gap right now.

   This is normally when Tony Romo is visited by 3 ghosts. The ghost of December Failures past, present and future.

   What I am asking Santa for this year is his list of naughty women over 30. . .

   A fox can only sound like that if you kick it in the balls. . .

   Kanye West is losing it and even black folks are turning against his self-aggrandizing ass.

   Before Kanye west says he is going to be a bigger hero than Nelson Mandela by the time he reaches 95, shouldn't he spend 27 years in jail first?

   I wish I could slim down my waistline during the Holidays like my wife slims down my wallet.

   What this generation of young men need to realize is that the word "Man" is in Manners....

   Before Obama compares himself to Nelson Mandela, shouldn't he first go to jail for 27 years?

   Sometimes, at the end, I press the "Add 30 Sec" button on the microwave just to show "Swanson's" who's REALLY in charge up in this MoFo!!

   Neil Armstrong was the first "Human Being" to step foot on the moon. Did you know that Neil A. backwards spells "Alien"

   Dear Santa: This year I would like a "Bailout and a Bonus."..."Yes, I know I have been really bad, spent my money frivolously ,even did some illegal things and therefore I think I deserve it."----The Government

   This has been one of those years That I should've stayed in bed

   I had to go on a second diet. The one wasn't giving me enough food.