Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Below freezing weather in every state this week, Egypt gets snow, republicans and doubters owe Al Gore an apology regarding climate change, don't they?

   Egypt Power and Light reports all 10 customers without power...

   Snow in Egypt! In the dessert! Global warming strikes again!....Al Gore refuses comment

   "Awe crap" ~ The first thing that goes through your head when "Michael has commented on your status" pops up in your phones notification bar.

   Q: Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella? A: Fo' Drizzle

   I got this whole Christmas gifting thing on lock!! I bought my mom a fridge for Xmas a few years ago and still to this day every time she opens it....her face lights up

   I took a poll recently, and 100% of strippers were angry they had nothing to dance on.

   Oh com'on Kim Jong everyone has a ''funny uncle'' in the family....don't you think the firing squad was a little harsh???

   It's Friday the 13th. Good thing I'm not superstitious, it's unlucky to be superstitious...

   Today is Friday, December 13th. I can't tell you how relieved I am that Christmas isn't on Friday the 13th this year.

   keep the conversation on my post going,but be sure I'll be deleting it when ts on the climax

   Thinking of the best status to post and nothing funny comes to mind so just pretend this is the funniest status you've read today. - Management

   Knowing sign language is a handy skill when it comes to identifying schizophrenics at famous people's funerals.

   when did we replace the word “said” with “was like”

   your reputation in high school doesn't matter once you graduate anyways so why spend 4 years trying to impress people you'll never see again

   I've said it before and I'll say it again: it before

   I can remember when he was just Lieutenant Tso...when nobody respected his meat..

   Don't get mad... get weed.

   You know it's over when you start closing the door again when you pee

   I'm at my wife's company Christmas party and there is like zero pus sy here. I hate Christmas.