Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   The Patriots defensive coverage today is almost as bad as the coverage by Obamacare.

   Seattle vs Denver..Washington St vs Colorado...marijuana SuperBOWL..

   This game is making me hungry for Omaha steaks

   Peyton Manning's forehead is large enough to show an Imax movie.

   I am glad to say that even after all these years. I still follow Bell Biv Devoe's advice on not trusting a big butt and a smile

   Obama said he wouldn't let his son play football bc he fears it would cause dementia. Someone should tell Obama that he doesn't have a son.

   Girls are unique,,, they want you to know how they feel but they don't want to tell you

   Give a man a fish and he'll ask you why you are trying to buy a box of donuts with a fish.

   Girl stop spilling your crazy all over me!

   I used to have an attitude problem. I broke up with her about a year ago.

   Your tongue is the best alarm clock.

   Given all the turmoil in the world, Syria, Iraq, and Afghanistan.................. And on and on. I don't like Miracle Whip. I just want good old Duke's Mayonnaise.

   Colorado has the best Chicken Pot Pie.

   I'm not a stalker; but you should wipe from front to back.

   "A group of West Virginians who can't shower, brush their teeth or feed their babies? A&E, you got your next hit!"

   "Quick! Hold this foreskin! No time to explain!" - Religion

   I've just invented a new word: "plagiarism".

   Sometimes I think, "Screw this, I will just be a stripper." Then I remember I am fat and I can't dance.

   85% of men don't understand Women & the balance 15% suffer from short-term memory loss!

   Tip of the day: Don't piss off anyone who has unlimited access to your toothbrush.