Trump Filter: ON | OFF
Search Messages:
My wife says I'm a clueless idiot. I didn't even know I had a wife. 
A part of me wants to go on a diet and eat healthy. Sadly that part of me is a liar.
If you were inside my mind ,you could never get enough showers to EVER feel clean again !
Bitstrips just won't go away...
The people you may know list should be renamed to, the people you may want to block. . .
For a quiet ride, buckle the empty seatbelt beside a child and tell them not to wake up the ghost.
I had over 2,500 friends on my fb friends' list. I deleted every single one of those posing, airbrushed women who do nothing but clog up my newsfeed with the same ol' stuff. I now have zero friends.
You don't need a Corvette when you have a big pen*s
i can't sing but I do have other oral talents.
After sitting here watching all these Olympic events and the athletes doing such extreme things... I have decided I need to get more extreme... so today I'm eating Hot Pockets right out of the microwave...
You're over the age of 12. Maybe use the word "YOLO" a little less. Or, better yet..not at all.
What rock did you crawl out from under and are you going back soon?
The less you know about someone, the easier it is to love them.
“911, What’s your emergency?” I… I shot him “Shot who sir?” He said the Beatles suck “Is he alive?” Yes “Try holding a pillow over his face”
All I'm saying, ladies, is if you're looking for a guy how about collecting snacks instead of cats.
How many white girls does it take to change a light bulb? I have no clue, but I guarantee they'll post a picture of it on Instagram.
For a second I thought Bob Costas was winking at me, but it was just my cat's a-hole :(
Forget Al Qaeda, negative people are the real terrorist.
You know it’s time to shave when there’s more pubes than face towel after a shower.
What if you get to heaven and God is like "Nah bra you can't get in. Remember when you saw my picture on Facebook and you kept scrolling?"
Site Links
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com
