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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Page: 2017 of 5594
Shout out to the guy in drive thru who went against the man, and gave me THREE packets of Ketchup for my large fries.
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02-19-2014 14:50 by
Goodeolboy
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Just realized that with all this ice lately, technically I'm walking on water too, so take that Jesus!
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02-19-2014 14:33 by
Joseph Robert
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When God closes a door, I open a beer.
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02-19-2014 14:01
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It's that time of the night again where I pick one of you lucky ladies selfies to jerk off to before I cry myself to sleep..
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02-19-2014 13:48
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I can't believe I used to talk to people.
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02-19-2014 13:44 by
Baddie
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My salvation can be found in vodka, and very good weed.
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02-19-2014 13:29
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Stop acknowledging the retard's presence. Ignore his existence.
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02-19-2014 13:10
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The retards back!
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02-19-2014 11:49
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No I don't look at ANY of my exs and ask myself "what was I thinking?" Or "was I drunk the whole time" I know exactly what I was thinking and doing.
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02-19-2014 11:08
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Guy, EVERYONE. Listen. I'm going to say two words that will change your lives. Pizza Tacos. I know. Just breath.
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02-19-2014 11:04
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Nestle to recall Philly Steak and Cheese Hot Pockets because they may contain meat that was already recalled by the Department of Agraculture. Most surprisingly, however, is that Steak and Cheese Hot Pockets may actually contain meat.
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02-19-2014 10:57 by
Michael
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Olympic athletic bring stray puppies back from Sochi... like we dont have enough here in the US...
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02-19-2014 10:50
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The coolest part of the Bible is where one couple somehow populates the world by having kids from every race and ethnicity.
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02-19-2014 10:36
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Possessio...is 9/10 of the spelling
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02-19-2014 10:32 by
Daheavy1
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♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ HE'S GOT BOBBY COSTAS EYES ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
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02-19-2014 10:08
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If you were at a Beatles tribute concert and you fell and hurt yourself, what would you yell?
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02-19-2014 08:27 by
markf
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Lead me not into temptation. I can find it on my own.
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02-19-2014 07:04
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Scientists discovered that an object does not really become smaller when the distance to the beholder increases.
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02-19-2014 04:31
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Sig Sauer is a better gun than Smith & Wesson!
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02-19-2014 01:26
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Everyone keeps complaining about the extreme cold weather, do you know what it does to the bugs that torment you in the summer?
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02-18-2014 23:43
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