Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Shout out to the guy in drive thru who went against the man, and gave me THREE packets of Ketchup for my large fries.
←Rate | 02-19-2014 14:50 by Goodeolboy Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just realized that with all this ice lately, technically I'm walking on water too, so take that Jesus!
←Rate | 02-19-2014 14:33 by Joseph Robert Comments (0)  


   messageicon When God closes a door, I open a beer.
←Rate | 02-19-2014 14:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's that time of the night again where I pick one of you lucky ladies selfies to jerk off to before I cry myself to sleep..
←Rate | 02-19-2014 13:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't believe I used to talk to people.
←Rate | 02-19-2014 13:44 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon My salvation can be found in vodka, and very good weed.
←Rate | 02-19-2014 13:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Stop acknowledging the retard's presence. Ignore his existence.
←Rate | 02-19-2014 13:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The retards back!
←Rate | 02-19-2014 11:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon No I don't look at ANY of my exs and ask myself "what was I thinking?" Or "was I drunk the whole time" I know exactly what I was thinking and doing.
←Rate | 02-19-2014 11:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guy, EVERYONE. Listen. I'm going to say two words that will change your lives. Pizza Tacos. I know. Just breath.
←Rate | 02-19-2014 11:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nestle to recall Philly Steak and Cheese Hot Pockets because they may contain meat that was already recalled by the Department of Agraculture. Most surprisingly, however, is that Steak and Cheese Hot Pockets may actually contain meat.
←Rate | 02-19-2014 10:57 by Michael Comments (0)  


   messageicon Olympic athletic bring stray puppies back from Sochi... like we dont have enough here in the US...
←Rate | 02-19-2014 10:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The coolest part of the Bible is where one couple somehow populates the world by having kids from every race and ethnicity.
←Rate | 02-19-2014 10:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Possessio...is 9/10 of the spelling
←Rate | 02-19-2014 10:32 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ HE'S GOT BOBBY COSTAS EYES ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫ ♫
←Rate | 02-19-2014 10:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you were at a Beatles tribute concert and you fell and hurt yourself, what would you yell?
←Rate | 02-19-2014 08:27 by markf Comments (0)  


   messageicon Lead me not into temptation. I can find it on my own.
←Rate | 02-19-2014 07:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Scientists discovered that an object does not really become smaller when the distance to the beholder increases.
←Rate | 02-19-2014 04:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sig Sauer is a better gun than Smith & Wesson!
←Rate | 02-19-2014 01:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone keeps complaining about the extreme cold weather, do you know what it does to the bugs that torment you in the summer?
←Rate | 02-18-2014 23:43 Comments (0)  



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