Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Why am I single? Answer me. . . ANSWER ME YOU STUPID CATS!!!
←Rate | 05-04-2014 06:38 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wife: Silent Me: What's wrong? Wife: Nothing Me: Grabs shield and sword
←Rate | 05-04-2014 06:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A group of contradictions is called a “Bible.”
←Rate | 05-04-2014 06:35 Comments (1)  


   messageicon If your face doesn't look like a glazed donut ..your doing it wrong.
←Rate | 05-04-2014 03:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Keyboard worshippers are at it again this sunday morning.
←Rate | 05-04-2014 02:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I once dated a meteorologist just so I could be with a woman who wasn't right all the time.
←Rate | 05-03-2014 16:32 by Daheavy1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon what do you call a nun with alzheimers?? a roamin catholic.
←Rate | 05-03-2014 15:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Call me old school, but cigarettes should not have USB ports
←Rate | 05-03-2014 14:56 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the Lord is always with me, that dude's sat through a lot of jacking off.
←Rate | 05-03-2014 14:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't have a horse running in the Derby but my money is on Sarah Jessica Parker.
←Rate | 05-03-2014 14:08 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I must not be real stupid, television has not made me famous yet!
←Rate | 05-03-2014 13:45 by flipphonescott Comments (0)  


   messageicon Please spare a thought for the man who told his wife he was going on a business trip to China on that Malaysian Airlines Flight No MH. 370, and now can't come out of his girlfriend's apartment. (Ever)
←Rate | 05-03-2014 12:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My drivers license is just a piece of paper that says I'm not Asian
←Rate | 05-03-2014 11:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sex so good, you call off the restraining order.
←Rate | 05-03-2014 11:23 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rodney King said, "Can we all get along? The answer is no because too many people make a very good living making sure we don't....right, Reverend Al?
←Rate | 05-03-2014 09:38 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Sometimes when I see an airplane passing over I just wish I were on it and didn't care where it was going.
←Rate | 05-03-2014 08:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How I hate people who initiate a conversation and don’t continue with it.
←Rate | 05-03-2014 08:31 by Kisstopher707 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There are some souls you meet and you know right away you'll love them forever and laugh together in heaven or fry together in hell.
←Rate | 05-03-2014 07:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the cigarette tax is meant to discourage smoking, is the income tax meant to discourage working?
←Rate | 05-03-2014 06:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do you think that the guy that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
←Rate | 05-03-2014 04:02 by @RonnieChapman Comments (0)  



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