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Why am I single? Answer me. . . ANSWER ME YOU STUPID CATS!!!
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05-04-2014 06:38
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Wife: Silent Me: What's wrong? Wife: Nothing Me: Grabs shield and sword
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05-04-2014 06:37
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A group of contradictions is called a “Bible.”
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05-04-2014 06:35
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If your face doesn't look like a glazed donut ..your doing it wrong.
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05-04-2014 03:47
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Keyboard worshippers are at it again this sunday morning.
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05-04-2014 02:06
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I once dated a meteorologist just so I could be with a woman who wasn't right all the time.
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05-03-2014 16:32 by
Daheavy1
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what do you call a nun with alzheimers?? a roamin catholic.
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05-03-2014 15:23
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Call me old school, but cigarettes should not have USB ports
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05-03-2014 14:56 by
flipphonescott
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If the Lord is always with me, that dude's sat through a lot of jacking off.
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05-03-2014 14:51
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I don't have a horse running in the Derby but my money is on Sarah Jessica Parker.
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05-03-2014 14:08
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I must not be real stupid, television has not made me famous yet!
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05-03-2014 13:45 by
flipphonescott
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Please spare a thought for the man who told his wife he was going on a business trip to China on that Malaysian Airlines Flight No MH. 370, and now can't come out of his girlfriend's apartment. (Ever)
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05-03-2014 12:01
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My drivers license is just a piece of paper that says I'm not Asian
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05-03-2014 11:24
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Sex so good, you call off the restraining order.
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05-03-2014 11:23
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Rodney King said, "Can we all get along? The answer is no because too many people make a very good living making sure we don't....right, Reverend Al?
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05-03-2014 09:38
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Sometimes when I see an airplane passing over I just wish I were on it and didn't care where it was going.
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05-03-2014 08:35
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How I hate people who initiate a conversation and don’t continue with it.
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05-03-2014 08:31 by
Kisstopher707
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There are some souls you meet and you know right away you'll love them forever and laugh together in heaven or fry together in hell.
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05-03-2014 07:14
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If the cigarette tax is meant to discourage smoking, is the income tax meant to discourage working?
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05-03-2014 06:25
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Do you think that the guy that invented the breathalyzer has any friends left?
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05-03-2014 04:02 by
@RonnieChapman
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