Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If my father taught me one thing, it was probably how to take both hands off the wheel to sarcastically applaud people in traffic.
←Rate | 06-27-2014 01:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So Ronaldo & Friends, sorry I mean Portugal got knocked out of the world cup last night.
←Rate | 06-27-2014 01:54 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon No women in their soccer team. Typical Iran.
←Rate | 06-27-2014 01:52 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Describe yourself in three words" "Lazy"
←Rate | 06-27-2014 01:47 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon How to cook the perfect amount of pasta: 1. Pour out how much you think you need 2. Wrong
←Rate | 06-27-2014 01:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just watched Kill Bill volume 1, couldn't hear a thing.
←Rate | 06-27-2014 01:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon In honor of the 25th anniversary of Tim Burton's Batman, a gentle reminder that his batmobile required a grappling hook to make a left turn.
←Rate | 06-27-2014 01:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon A new study says schizophrenia and pot smoking are genetically linked — but don't worry, another study says you're just being paranoid.
←Rate | 06-27-2014 01:33 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've set my "life goals" to stuff I've already done so literally every day now I'm overachieving. It's all about perspective.
←Rate | 06-27-2014 01:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once you see Pharrell’s hat you understand how he’d be happy in a room without a roof.
←Rate | 06-27-2014 01:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon relationship status: LOL
←Rate | 06-27-2014 01:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Whenever I'm leaving the work bathroom and I see the cleaning lady waiting, we exchange the knowing look that I just crapped in her office
←Rate | 06-26-2014 20:33 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon If Shrek can find love, so can you. What I'm trying to say is, you look like Shrek
←Rate | 06-26-2014 20:26 by StonerDudee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Here's a little pro tip for ya, it doesn't have to be your birthday to buy a birthday cake. They'll just sell it to you no questions asked.
←Rate | 06-26-2014 18:37 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon Condoms don't guarantee safe sex anymore I was wearing one but I was still shot by the woman's husband
←Rate | 06-26-2014 15:26 by Ajdo Comments (0)  


   messageicon America. Even when we lose, we still win..... USA!!
←Rate | 06-26-2014 14:56 by sully Comments (1)  


   messageicon FIFA, the world soccer governing body, says the guy who did the biting has to wear one of those dog cones for the rest of the tournament....
←Rate | 06-26-2014 14:46 by Mark M Comments (0)  


   messageicon To settle an argument, think about why you are wrong and why she has boobs.
←Rate | 06-26-2014 14:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How much for the vacation home? Sir, this is a coffin.
←Rate | 06-26-2014 13:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t dance like no one is watching, dance like someone is watching and about to slide a twenty dollar bill into your neon thong.
←Rate | 06-26-2014 13:56 Comments (0)  



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