Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Skiing is my favorite way of getting a head injury while freezing to death.

   I just deleted a text message without reading it so your voicemail doesn't have a prayer.

   Men that wear jean jacket's are making a statement... They're stating that they've lost hope of getting laid any time soon

   I think I may be getting harder to love.

   White privilege is being able to look at Ferguson and say "I should get off the Internet"

   "I understand your logic, but let's try to look at this more emotionally." - women

   Guys; if she stops responding to your messages for days, 100% of the time it's a technical problem. Keep trying.

   Ask your doctor if walking blindly into traffic is right for you

   Why isn't a group of squid called a squad?

   "You promise you didn't get me bees again" [me from a distance] just open it

   anyone who enjoys pizza with pineapples probably beats up children and kisses with their eyes open

   anyone who sleeps without having one leg out of the covers is a threat to the national security of this country

   religion is basically believing that there's a guy who is watching over you if you give him some of your money on Sundays.

   so many bad things happening in this world at this moment like iggy azalea

   Whew! the wind has been blowing and howling like crazy all day. Kept looking out the window for Dorothy to show up.

   Way to go Ferguson...Burning down the same grocery stores where you use your foodstamps to shop. Talk about shooting yourself in the foot. Real justice losers!. Real justice

   I say let them burn ferguson to the ground and watch them cry tomorrow cause they don't have anywhere to spend their foodstamps.

   I asked the waitress for a quickie and she slapped me. The old woman next to me said, "It's pronounced 'quiche', dear."

   They aren't looters....they are undocumented shoppers

   I guess Black Friday started early in Ferguson