Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon If a white girl don't like Fireball Whisky, she's not a real white girl. She's a fraud.
←Rate | 12-08-2014 00:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don't forget to alienate people People love aliens
←Rate | 12-08-2014 00:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, call your ex.
←Rate | 12-08-2014 00:01 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've disappointed a lot of people in my life, you're not special.
←Rate | 12-08-2014 00:01 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why get married when you can just drive into oncoming traffic?
←Rate | 12-07-2014 23:59 by Baddie Comments (0)  


   messageicon he doesn't even get swallowed, discovery channel is losing all credibility
←Rate | 12-07-2014 22:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Can't wait to see the hour of commercials it takes for some dude to be eaten alive by an Anaconda in five minutes tonite...
←Rate | 12-07-2014 19:31 by Steve OH Comments (0)  


   messageicon these pretzals are making me thirsty
←Rate | 12-07-2014 18:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon People who are cheap and think hiring a professional is expensive should talk to people who chose to hire an amateur.
←Rate | 12-07-2014 17:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some dude is going to be eaten alive by an Anaconda tonite....BIG DEAL...I was eaten alive by a snake years ago and my lawyer got me out. Sucked dry, but free.
←Rate | 12-07-2014 16:49 by Bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey everybody I'm unique! Just like everybody else on facebook! But please give me validation anyways.
←Rate | 12-07-2014 16:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Still can't believe Skeletor and Stretch Armstrong sold out and started selling cars.....
←Rate | 12-07-2014 15:05 by greg2missy Comments (0)  


   messageicon 16.The year is 2060. iPhone 842 is released. The screen touches you.
←Rate | 12-07-2014 11:01 by Jon Comments (0)  


   messageicon They execute an American or an ally, we go after their sponsors, family, friends, lovers and clerics. Our job is to make terrorism so horrific that is becomes unthinkable to attack Americans and her allies.

←Rate | 12-07-2014 10:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's easier to get forgiveness than permission.
←Rate | 12-06-2014 19:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon women say they like tall men but I'm probably at least 6'4 in these stilettos and not a single girl in this bar has approached me yet :(
←Rate | 12-06-2014 13:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hang on, let me change from my home Crocks to my going out Crocks. Then we can go.
←Rate | 12-06-2014 08:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hang on, let me change from my home flip flops to my going out flip flops. Then we can go.
←Rate | 12-06-2014 08:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Q: What's more disgusting than a hicky on a hemorrhoid? A: The chick that put it there.
←Rate | 12-06-2014 08:22 by Dude Comments (0)  


   messageicon "OK...that Trust Exercise didn't go exactly according to plan. Once we dispose of the bodies let's keep quiet about this...AS A TEAM!"
←Rate | 12-06-2014 07:01 by huck Comments (0)  



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