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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Representatives from AOL say that no one from North Korea has dialed in to their service for almost 8 hours now...
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12-22-2014 19:10 by
eengrms
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I think the people who own funeral homes should have digital clocks outside, counting down.
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12-22-2014 18:46 by
snotty
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The longest distance between any two points,, is the walking path of a 2 year old.
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12-22-2014 18:31 by
snotty
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North Korea's Internet is down. In even more shocking news, North Korea apparently has Internet.
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12-22-2014 16:21 by
Daheavy1
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Recognizing Cuba, bastion of human oppression, is an insult to our noble allies in Saudi Arabia, Qatar, Yemen, Iraq, Pakistan and Texas.
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12-22-2014 13:37 by
SEAN
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This pregnancy test confirmed my worst fear..... I'm just fat.
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12-22-2014 13:36 by
SEAN
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I think Tampax and Hershey's should get together and offer a super pack....
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12-22-2014 13:26 by
SEAN
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I would pick up a hitchhiker wearing an "I Heart Murder" t-shirt before I'd pick up a call from a blocked number.
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12-22-2014 13:14 by
@uxbridgeguy
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Figures... On the day I wear white underwear too…..........
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12-22-2014 13:05
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Someone is not a happy camper and should learn to appreciate how those guys are saving you the time to browse through twitter for the best jokes.
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12-22-2014 12:45
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I just learned that George de Mestral, the man who invented Velcro, died in 1990. RIP, George. RIP.
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12-22-2014 11:40
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Attention pretty girls. Right now, nice, ugly girls are getting laid so stop being such a b*itch…
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12-22-2014 11:18
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When a woman says "He used me for sex". It really means 'I only shagged him to get something else out of him, but it failed'.
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12-22-2014 10:19 by
StonerDudee
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A human fart can be louder than a trombone. I discovered that at my daughter's school concert.
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12-22-2014 10:17 by
StonerDudee
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My girlfriend said that I should use the term 'make love' instead of 'f*ck.' What the make love is she talking about?
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12-22-2014 10:15 by
StonerDudee
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No Miley, Santa doesn’t have a "twerkshop"
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12-22-2014 09:59 by
Baddie
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My friend is staying in a hotel on Christmas Eve, which sounds really depressing, but I bet Mary and Joseph would have killed for that.
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12-22-2014 09:14 by
snotty
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So,,, One time, I walked around with a smart car stuck in my teeth for like 4 hours before someone finally said something to me
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12-22-2014 08:42 by
snotty
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i'll be live tweeting my colonoscopy today against the advice of my doctor and these nurses. And ok, here we go,,, OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH OUCH
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12-22-2014 08:36 by
snotty
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Zuckerberg has agreed to expunge the "Dictatators Suck" FB Page ~ Kim Jong-un
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12-22-2014 06:50 by
Depirts1
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