Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I accidentally OD'd on Viagra. Man, that was a hard night!
←Rate | 12-30-2015 20:30 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Be careful driving out there.This time of year, black ice matters.
←Rate | 12-30-2015 18:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Finally throwing out my Thanksgiving leftovers. I don't even remember making turkey yogurt.
←Rate | 12-30-2015 17:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Steven Tyler's mic stand has so many scarves on it that I always thought he was just screaming at Johnny Depp and trying to strangle him.
←Rate | 12-30-2015 13:04 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon know what my New Year's resolution is going to be. But I'm not going to share it in case I fail so I won't be held accoutable by anyone but me.
←Rate | 12-30-2015 11:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you can't tell the difference between delivery and digiorno, there's a good chance you've been fooled by a tranny once or twice as well.
←Rate | 12-30-2015 09:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon American Police Force giving ISIS a run for its money in the brutality department.
←Rate | 12-30-2015 00:15 Comments (1)  


   messageicon My ex got me arrested cause I used to sit outside her house all day. She thought I was stalking her but I wasn't, I just had her WiFi pass.........
←Rate | 12-29-2015 23:23 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon Clapping is just high-fiving yourself for someone else's accomplishments.
←Rate | 12-29-2015 19:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At some point a man realizes he's better off with a sane 6 or 7 than a crazy 9 or 10.
←Rate | 12-29-2015 17:54 Comments (1)  


   messageicon I hate it when people ask me "Where do you see yourself in 5 years?". I mean, seriously, I do not have 2020 vision!
←Rate | 12-29-2015 17:36 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My New Years resolution is to never make New Years resolutions!
←Rate | 12-29-2015 08:14 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I literally have no idea what day it is...zero
←Rate | 12-28-2015 23:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You ever wanted to post something but just didn't know what to say so you just didn't post anything
←Rate | 12-28-2015 17:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You're so old, that when you were young, rainbows were black and white.
←Rate | 12-28-2015 17:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hillary is a super good person and would make a fantastic president not to mention a great piece of azz.... said no one EVER.
←Rate | 12-28-2015 15:35 Comments (0)  


   messageicon True,you do sign up knowing you could die as a Seal. But,when Hillary signed up to do her job she failed and covered it up with lies
←Rate | 12-28-2015 15:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why regret anything, because at one time it was exactly what you wanted...
←Rate | 12-28-2015 15:03 by Scmc1st Comments (0)  


   messageicon How many selfies does it take to get to the center of attention?
←Rate | 12-28-2015 10:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You don't see faith healers working in hospitals, just like you don't see psychics winning the lottery every week.
←Rate | 12-28-2015 10:10 Comments (0)  



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