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Can I get a Hell Yeah if you don't know what you're doing with your life and you don't get enough sleep. 
She said she recognozed me from the Vegetarian Club but I've never met herbivore.
I now identify as a person who wants his own private bathroom while in public.
When life knocks you down to your knees, remember that it's the perfect position to pray.
"You're crazy" = the last resort from a losing opponent.
If Adam and Eve were Chinese, we would still be in paradise because they would have ignored the apple and eaten the snake.
All music is dance music if you're bored enough.
A lollipop is a cross between hard candy and garbage.
Lifetime os filming a new series about the ongoing struggle women have with freezing cold feet. It's a Sockumentary.
Don't worry Bernie supporters, there's a good chance Bernie will run as Retirement Home President sometime in the near future.
Sad to say this, Bernie campaign is on life support. Perhaps a GoFundMe page to revitalize his campaign might help...
"Poverty is a death sentence," Bernie Sanders declares during Baltimore stop. Too bad Bernie doesn't feel the same way as he just fired hundreds of his loyal campaign workers.
Bernie's campaign workers definitely Felt The Bern on their way to the unemployment office.
Bernie Sanders is so evil for laying all those people off. I guess they can go back to the unemployment line or mom's basement.
Just a heads up...it is World Naked Gardening Day on May 7th. Rest assured, I will not be participating.
Funny all those people that love Prince and don't mind his drug abuse probably complained about Lance Armstrong
All of this "which bathroom to use" debate is ridiculous....why can't we all potty like it's 1999?
Gun free zones do not stop shooters so what makes you think a bathroom sign will stop a sexual predator... Common sense people...
The past two weeks I've eaten nothing but fiber rich foods. Fiber, fiber, fiber. So anyway, this morning I go to use the bathroom and...well, let's just say I'm the proud owner of a brand new wicker coffee table.
I don't hate anybody. I'm just not neccesarily excited by their existance.... 