Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Are you tired of wal-mart rushing our holiday's? I can't believe it, They already have birthday cards out and it's still months away from my birthday!!!!
←Rate | 06-05-2016 08:50 by Jerry Carter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Damn, two gorillas in one week...
←Rate | 06-05-2016 03:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "With great b( . )( . )bs come great responsibility". JFK I think
←Rate | 06-05-2016 01:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may lose friends. But.. People who want to BE politically correct need a red hot iron stoker stuck up their a$$es. . .
←Rate | 06-05-2016 01:26 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I may lose friends. But.. People who want to politically correct need a red hot iron stoker stuck up their a$$es. . .
←Rate | 06-05-2016 01:18 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to push all your buttons. Starting with mute.
←Rate | 06-04-2016 23:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hope my Facebook friends like my staycation photos! -Me in a chair. -Me on the couch. -Different chair. -Sitting on the bed. -Couch again.
←Rate | 06-04-2016 22:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Attended a surprise party at work this afternoon. Fred was really surprised he was retiring.
←Rate | 06-04-2016 22:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life is an open book. But it's very poorly written and I die in the end.
←Rate | 06-04-2016 22:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My diet this week consisted of 6 cheat days.....
←Rate | 06-04-2016 22:56 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I did one of those wine and paint nights the instructor would be like wow look at you, you are really good at wine.
←Rate | 06-04-2016 22:55 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hallmark has birthday cards out already, and it's not anywhere near my birthday.
←Rate | 06-04-2016 22:54 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I don't need fun to have alcohol.
←Rate | 06-04-2016 22:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm just looking forward to the day when my kids are no longer teenagers and I'm not an idiot anymore.
←Rate | 06-04-2016 22:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just want to be rich enough that I can buy my furniture already assembled.
←Rate | 06-04-2016 22:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Businesses be like: Buy one get one free if you pay double for the first one.
←Rate | 06-04-2016 22:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If the primary job of the President is to Preserve, Protect and Defend the Constitution of the United States, I wonder which one of the candidates would best be able to fulfill that primary duty?
←Rate | 06-04-2016 14:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You have a better chance of running into a Bigfoot than an honest Politician!
←Rate | 06-04-2016 14:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I had 2 Justin Bieber tickets on the front seat of my car, some jacka$$ smashed my window and left 4 more
←Rate | 06-04-2016 13:20 by JAB Comments (0)  


   messageicon Tired of rap songs starting with MC going "uhuh uhuh...One two one two...Let's do this..." No. You shoulda been ready when the song started.
←Rate | 06-04-2016 09:18 Comments (1)  



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