Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Before the internet, no one had successful spelled the word "hemorrhoids".

   Your "Restroom For Customer Only" sign means nothing without a lock.

   It's cool that both Twitter and Games of Thrones are all about 140 characters.

   Disney will install warning signs to prevent future alligator attacks but sadly most alligators are illiterate.

   Until this recent Facebook trend I would have never guessed how many people were behind me in line with a gun under their shirt..

   I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

   Children fill a void in your life that you never knew existed. And promptly destroy everything else.

   There is a new singing comedian sex offender ... His name is Bing Cosby

   If your dog loves hanging his head out the window of the car as you are driving but growls when you blow in his face, you need a breath mint.

   Screw Finding Dory... Let's find Clintons deleted emails!

   Personally, I think Disney World is taking it's Animal Kingdom experience to far.

   I feel safer knowing the Democrats are trying to make a watch list for people on watch lists..

   I've got 99 problems and all of them are luftballons. Why oh why do I have so many luftballons?!?!

   Never seen a pair of high heels hanging over a telephone wire. Always sneakers. Someone get on that.

   The vending machine gave me an extra bag of Skittles today, hope my Dad loves his Father's Day gift.

   Breaking News -- Family Guy's Quagmire loosely based on a young Bill Crosby.

   French toast is just toast that's surrendered.

   I can't run from my problems because I am out of shape.

   Reports say men who post selfies show pyschopathic tendencies. While women who post selfies just wanted to show everyone their "duck face".

   ...... "Barack INSANE Obama" .... Truth in advertising.