Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon The FDA has announced that eating raw cookie dough is really bad for your health. So is telling my girlfriend not to eat raw cookie dough.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 16:13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon United States: High Fructose Corn Syrup.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 16:10 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I owe my kids $4,983 in back allowances.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 16:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'll acknowledge Canada Day whey they finally acknowledge that's not bacon.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 16:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon LeBron James opted out of his contract but he re-signed for another 8 years of attention whoring.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 16:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just created a Tinder page for my dog and he's already got more right swipes than me.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 16:02 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rachel Dolezal celebrated Canada Day by announcing she's a Canadian.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 15:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just realized the definition of the word "word" is made up of many words and now I have a headache.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 15:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Favorite all-time Disney snuff film is "Frying Dory."
←Rate | 07-02-2016 15:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon America: Diet coke, large pizzas.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 15:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't lose a finger or two this weekend can you really even call yourself an American.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 15:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If anyone goes to a house without a dog or WiFi, should you wonder how many people are buried in their yard?
←Rate | 07-02-2016 15:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The day a black NFL player gets shot by a cop, ruining Paul Ryan's fantasy football team, will be the day the GOP addresses police brutality.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 15:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's called "Independence Day" not "Dependence Day" for a reason
←Rate | 07-02-2016 12:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon if you own a body shop and it's not called "Auto Correct", then what's the point?
←Rate | 07-02-2016 07:30 by Huck Comments (0)  


   messageicon Shocked by the 16% approval rating of congress held by Americans in June 2016. That can't be right. Who are these psychos in the 16 percent?
←Rate | 07-02-2016 07:29 by andrew jackson Comments (0)  


   messageicon HEY, To EVERYBODY celebrating Independence Day, None of us want independence, We just want to be taken care of!!! .... We are .... The Baby Nation!!!! ..... Join Us!!! .... BTW .... We are also known as the Democrats.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 02:53 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Heck .... If we return EVERYTHING to it's original State ..... Then NOTHING .... Shall ever Improve" ......( future man )
←Rate | 07-02-2016 02:50 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Guys with no beard must also help with breastfeeding the baby.
←Rate | 07-02-2016 01:37 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do our elected officials even know what their Job Description is? I'm pretty sure it doesn't include ignoring and trashing the Constitution!
←Rate | 07-01-2016 22:19 Comments (0)  



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