Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   A fun thing to do when your co-workers go to Chipotle for lunch is to put up “Out of Order” signs on all the bathrooms.

   Due to recent events, I'm deducting a full three stars from my Yelp review of Earth.

   A date so bad instead of just saying goodnight you both write Victim Impact Statements.

   I can't believe they're going to remake Little Women with an all-female cast.

   BREAKING: Chris Christie spotted working valet at the RNC.

   I learned all I need to know about race relations from watching C.Thomas Howell's heart felt film Soul Man six times.

   A man at the airport bar is now criticizing "the lamestream media" for "liberal" reporting and "spelling 'speech' without the A".

   Part of Scott Baio's speech was plagiarized from the episode of Charles In Charge where Nicole Eggert ran for class president.

   I hate when people talk about "slutty" clothing. First of all that's sexist, and second it should be called "sexually activewear."

   "Is that a gun in your pants ... or are you happy to see me?" ..... Melania Sanchez

   Congratulations America! We're one step closer to schmuck.

   Melania has responded: "These accusations of plagiarism are not only hurtful to me, but are hurtful to my children Sasha and Malia"

   Hey, you guys remember when the GOP Congress refused to increase funding for worldwide Embassy Security? Probably not.

   I bet Melania regrets asking Brian Williams for help writing her speech.

   Crooked Melania: So which is better, admitting she lied about writing the speech, or admitting she plagiarized?

   Don't be so hard on Melania. It's not like that high school dropout who got by on her looks and married rich ever took shortcuts in life.

   "I cant wait for your tell all book hillary" - OJ

   I can't wait for her I have a dream speech in November! -hillary

   I just discovered today that with the help of Google, I can be a speech writer! How cool is that?

   Black Wives Fatter