Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   If I was a ghost, I'd write "Happy Birthday" in blood on your wall for your birthday, cuz you may be cursed, but it's still your birthday.

   Maybe the Pokemon Go players with jobs should drop some "lures" near the local unemployment offices and "temp" agencies! If they can put so much energy into looking for an imaginary animal maybe they can put some energy into finding a job!

   My dog acts pretty tough for someone who's afraid of cotton balls

   I don't like saying goodbye, so I'll just Say Stormtrooper, That way you know I'll always miss you .

   everyone is talking about Melania. Nobody even remembers that part of the Convention. Well played Melania.

   Who really cares if Melania plagiarized .... She is not even running for office! But that other lady in a pantsuit who exposed and compromised US National Security, Deleted CLASSIFIED emails and investigated by the FBI .... IS running for President.

   So what if Melania plagiarized? It's not like she exposed National Security, deleted classified emails and was investigated by the FBI.

   Awe c'mon folks .... No matter what you have to say about the big plagiarism scandal ...... You do have to admit that Melania definitely said it better!!

   “When cops come to save your life, they don’t ask if you are black or white, they just come to save you!” -------- Rudy Giuliani

   Of course Melania's speech sucked, Michelle wrote it......

   I have an electric stove, but I prefer acoustic. The proceeding random thought was for all my musician friends........

   Whenever my parents talk about "the good old days", they always seem to stop at 1990. Which is pretty cool, because that's also the year I was born... wait... what?

   "Melania's Speech was 100% real... Trust Me I was THERE!" - Brian Williams

   "We do not consider Melania's speech to be plagarism....As there was no intent to plagarism" - FBI Director Comey

   Yesterday was A slight fumble, but I think Melania's really gonna shine in the swimsuit portion of the competition...

   Filter pics should come with a Disclaimer" Some objects may appear more beautiful than they realy are"

   You put a couch on your back porch you're considered trashy but put a grill next to it and tent over it and you're rich.

   Iced coffee, for when you need to chug your coffee but don't want to lose five layers of skin on the roof of your mouth.

   All of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are over 21. Sorry to ruin the franchise for you.

   I started reading more because for like 6 years I thought Sharia Law was a Street Fighter character.