Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Facebook just changed their relationship status with SpaceX to "it's complicated."

   I live in Los Angeles. We already have Taco Trucks on every corner, and it's wonderful!!!

   Did you know, I just folded a fitted sheet so beautifully an owl just delivered a Hogwarts acceptance letter to my house.

   I hope Tropical Storm Hermine gets upgraded. Only because I think 'Hurricaine Hermine' sounds like a 1950's pro wrestler.

   Just not sure if this is a sign of the apocalypse, but I just saw a tow truck towing a tow truck.

   Dug up a questionable bone in my backyard and re-buried it because ain't no one got time for an investigation.

   The only thing worse than Penn State honoring Joe Paterno before the Temple game would be if Temple honored Bill Cosby.

   Sometimes Jesus counts unlimited breadsticks, as one of His miracles.

   I clicked on a link and it said "Attachment Unavailable". That's dating in a nutshell.

   Always spike my coffee from a hidden flask that contains more coffee.

   Most people don't realize the phrase "I could eat a horse" came from Dolph Lundgren after he ate every last unicorn in existence.

   "We need to talk about your son. The only questions he got correct on the test were about the Kardashians." -Middle/High school teachers everywhere

   Those credit card companies are pretty tricky hiding the security code on the back of the card.

   Notes From The Teacher: Please have little Johnny practice the phrase, "Paper or plastic?"

   Call me crazy, but I'd rather see a taco truck on every corner than an anti-choice bigot on every Supreme Court seat.

   Threatening Americans by saying there'll be "a taco truck on every corner" is like threatening The Kardashians' with more magazine covers.

   I've reached that age where scratching my b@lls has become both an art and a science. Actually, it's a finely tuned combination of both a taffy pull and a game of hot potato.

   FOX News has the most embarrasing moments on TV EVER! Every time you think they're done embarresing themselves - WOW!

   Remember yesterday was September.... So,, Only three more months of summer

   I'm OK with the French beach laws,, but the KKK shouldn't be allowed to wear their burkas either... *Ya know,, fairness