Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Instead of using someone's name for hurricanes, we should use safe identifiers, like Hurricane Apteryx, Calculus, Oatmeal, or Centipede.

   You made me think of "Hotel California," prepare to die.

   Bouncing happily through life on a pogo stick made of delusion.

   In the 16th century guys named Gaylord were the toughest son's of b**ches around.

   Good luck listening to 80's music without imagining my silhouette doing karate poses.

   I was a creepy clown before it was wrong and considered illegal.

   OK .... Since the latest Leaks and emails surfacing are proving the facts to be true ..... Perhaps it's time to watch the movie "Clinton Cash" on YooToob to see what kind of person you are really voting for.

   Today is our 9 years anniversary here. Keep em coming folks

   I had a late nite knock (rather hard) on the front door....Before I knew it I was flushing items down the commode.....On a side note....if you flush skittles it looks like a overhead view of NASCAR at Bristol..

   I just got offered a great deal from Vodafone. A new Samsung phone and a free fire extinguisher.

   Apparently you will need a firearm license before purchasing the Note 7 replacement

   Boss makes a dollar, while I make a dime. That's why I poop, on company time.

   If Hillary were President, she would be all, I am sorry, I am not sorry, I am sorry, I am not sorry, I am sorry, I am not sorry, What the hell, I am PMS'n leave me the f#ck alone. . .

   I sprained a finger when I saw a post that said "unfriend me if you don't support Clinton", I couldn't click fast enough.

   I walked in on my son flushing handfuls of Skittles down the toilet "OMG! Check this out Dad!" He said excitedly "It's just like watching NASCAR at Bristol!"

   I watched some of the debate last night...I kept on waiting for someone to say "Live from New York it's Saturday Nite"!!!!! But it never happened.....

   I'd like to take this opportunity to give a shout out to those in America who still have faith in, and who resoundingly support Hillary Clinton. I applaud all 3 of yall :)

   For some reason the "Samsung Galaxy Note 7" has become the preferred phone of terrorists.

   Hillary couldn't even establish a "No Fly Zone" on her face!!

   Corn mazes would be a lot more fun if they would start earlier in the growing season and make it an "All you can eat" corn-on-the-cob-fest