Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I'd publish my autobiography but it's just a bunch of wine stained blank pages.

   Got a box from amazon with a Hitachi, three kittens, a bottle of whiskey, some xanax, and apartment keys. The card said, "Happy Divorce"

   At some point you just have to ask yourself if you would hire someone under investigation by the FBI?

   The State Department says Comey was WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! Can we say we told you so?!

   Just in: Clinton is now LEADING in polls in important battleground states, such as Qatar, Iraq, Iran, and Syria And hopefully soon... San Quentin.

   Have you ever heard of the Legend of Hillary Rodham Hood? ..... She steals from everybody and keeps for herself.

   It's truly astonishing that a little guy hiding in an Ecuadorean Embassy is doing a heck of a lot more for TRUTH in this Election .... Than the Entire American Press!!!

   This Just In: James Comey, died in a car accident tomorrow .....

   Hey, look on the bright side America, she might not only be the first woman ever elected prez, she could very well also be the first US prez who is forced be a stay at home wife with an ankle bracelet on. #FeministMilestones

   I don't know if Anthony Weiner's weiner is that big but it's sure casts a very long shadow....

   What are the odds that Bill Clinton and Loretta Lynch have another friendly 30 minute chat to talk about golfing and grandchildren?

   ,Random is random. I do not know what random means. If your teacher asks you what is random, tell her random is random when it is random into random and random with bananas.

   After discovering that Anthony Weiner got Hillary Clinton in trouble Bill Clinton breeze a sigh of relief because it's the first time his wiener hasn't gotten Hillary in trouble

   Never trust a Democrat, they have a twisted view of the world.

   ALL MEN ARE @SSHOLES ...... Never mind ... He just texted me back .... False alarm ... my bad

   REAL Americans ..... Stand for the Flag ..... And Kneel for the Fallen ..... Period.

   By unsubscribe, you are implying that I subscribed in the first place. You subscribed me, now you unsubscribe me.

   Can we just get the pipeline under the river before it fills with blood

   "I love candles. What's with the knives? Wait, stop. Please stop!" - Pumpkin

   Bill Clinton is the only Democrat who is happy right now because it wasn't his Wiener that got Hillary in trouble