Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon Yes ... Stop burning the US flag..... But ALSO stop waving the Mexican flag in America because that's disgusting af
←Rate | 11-22-2016 11:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I establish dominance in a relationship by being a man.
←Rate | 11-22-2016 10:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon At the Dr. office today. Either someone is wearing cotton candy scented lotion or a #unicorn peed in this corner.
←Rate | 11-22-2016 09:19 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Kanye West 'hospitalised in Los Angeles'. Our thoughts and prayers go out at this difficult time to the hospital staff.
←Rate | 11-22-2016 09:17 by thejoke.cafe Comments (0)  


   messageicon A cigarette shortens life by 2 min,a beer shortens life by 4 minutes,a Monday at work shortens life by 8 hours
←Rate | 11-22-2016 04:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon ou do Waiters in the Restaurant always ask you as soon as you enter,"Would You Like a Table Sir?” … “No not at all, I came to the Restaurant to eat on the ground. Carpet for 5 please.”
←Rate | 11-22-2016 04:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My personal trainer says that I need to start eating healthier. I guess this means I have to start adding lettuce & tomato to my burgers
←Rate | 11-22-2016 04:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know it's going to be a crappy day when it starts with sneezing while brushing your teeth
←Rate | 11-22-2016 04:48 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If my "check Fuel" light would just "check my wallet"....It would know there's nothing I can do about it
←Rate | 11-22-2016 04:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Being a Man is great until you hear a noise late at night and your wife makes you realize that you are the one who is supposed to go investigate
←Rate | 11-22-2016 04:47 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My first childhood Lesson was that if you dream you're having a piss, you are most likely having a piss
←Rate | 11-22-2016 04:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Running away doesn't help you with your problems, unless your problem is obesity
←Rate | 11-22-2016 04:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon "When did we first meet?" if we had sex the first I could recall otherwise dont waste my time !
←Rate | 11-22-2016 04:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Constitution is Good
←Rate | 11-22-2016 02:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon WHAT IS THAT ? A TWISTED SISTER PIN, ON YOUR UNIFORM !
←Rate | 11-22-2016 01:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I've always wanted to be one of those people who laughs all the way to the #bank, instead of one who cries every time he leaves.
←Rate | 11-21-2016 22:13 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to be outdone by the new "Coca Cola Selfie Bottle", CHARMIN is announcing their new "We're on a Selfie Roll!" bathroom tissue product. Now you can turn those boring old bathroom selfies into "Action Selfies"!
←Rate | 11-21-2016 19:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Obama is Evil!!!!
←Rate | 11-21-2016 18:35 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Are you still making frozen jokes? Let it go
←Rate | 11-21-2016 16:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Only Sabbath that matters is Black !
←Rate | 11-21-2016 15:18 Comments (0)  



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