Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 1022 of 5594

   messageicon I need something like an epi pen, but filled with caffeine.
←Rate | 01-03-2017 13:04 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear Mariah: It's not as easy as it looks. -Milli Vanilli
←Rate | 01-03-2017 10:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I wish I loved anything as much as yankees love fireworks. #nojobbutcanaffordfireworks
←Rate | 01-03-2017 07:55 by @wrdslngr Comments (0)  


   messageicon As far as Mariah Carey's lip-synch debacle on New Year's Eve goes, I wasn't paying close enough attention. I was organizing an "over-under" pool as to how many walnuts she could crush with those thighs at one time.
←Rate | 01-03-2017 07:05 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon Slightly used Christmas tree only one month old. Paid $60. Looking for $40. No low ballers. Serious inquiries only.
←Rate | 01-03-2017 05:54 by GlimmerTriplet Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come Sanctuary cities have the fastest growing crime rates?
←Rate | 01-02-2017 22:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon How come Sanctuary cities are only effective for one type of criminal?
←Rate | 01-02-2017 21:31 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I really find it laughable when the very same people who say they really appreciate your honesty .... Suddenly hate you when you are actually honest with them .....
←Rate | 01-02-2017 21:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I win the lottery I'm going to travel the world asking the citizens if they've ever heard of snow. When someone says WTF IS SNOW I'm home
←Rate | 01-02-2017 20:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone thinks I dodged a bullet, but I think I shot the gun .
←Rate | 01-02-2017 17:40 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wanting the President to fail is like wanting the pilot to crash the plane we all just got on.
←Rate | 01-02-2017 03:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Well ... Maybe if I renamed my package "Facebook" she might actually get on it
←Rate | 01-01-2017 22:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Mariah Carey didn't give the performance that 2016 wanted, but she gave the performance 2016 deserved.
←Rate | 01-01-2017 19:52 by @svaldez187 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Yet another celebrity death in 2016. RIP Mariah Carey's career!
←Rate | 01-01-2017 19:39 by Gary13 Comments (0)  


   messageicon So, have all you rocket scientists who were still shooting off fireworks at 4am get it out of your system till the 4th of July?
←Rate | 01-01-2017 12:17 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon With the advent of the new year, we will see more technological advancements to make our lives easier. They will also be the cause of our ultimate demise. Everything has its price.
←Rate | 01-01-2017 11:55 by Fazzella Comments (0)  


   messageicon I fell asleep at the wheel last weekend. My pottery was ruined.
←Rate | 01-01-2017 11:23 by Peter Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dammit .... I already broke my New Years Resolution
←Rate | 01-01-2017 11:14 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm feeling nostalgic. I remembered 2016 like it was yesterday
←Rate | 01-01-2017 11:03 by Meeee Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sheldon Cooper has scored more than Ohio State did last night
←Rate | 01-01-2017 10:26 by cpaman Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left