Funny Status Messages

   looking at her man, wondering how come he is a knight in shining armor one day and a retard wrapped in tin foil the next.....

   The right to be heard does not automatically include the right to be taken seriously.

   dressing up as a ball player for the NY Mets for halloween. I figure I won't need a uniform either since at this time of the year, they are all wearing street clothes now anyway

   Imagine how much fun women in burkas must have tagging each other on Facebook.

   It's time for attention to pay me instead.

   The NFL should change it's name to the little girls league with all these rules. Football is a violent and physical sport, if you get hurt, it's part of the job.

   Mean people suck. Nice people swallow. Great people do BOTH. ;)

   Remember, we're not here for a long time, we're here for a GOOD TIME!!!

   bored of poking, can we have a spank button??

   Do sheep get heavy in the rain??

   Did you know that you can't hum with ur nose plugged??

   I wish the ATM machine would spit me out an extra 20 just one damn time!!

   Wonders why eleven isn't just onety-one...

   Have you ever looked at the last few loads of dirty laundry and considered just throwing them away??

   as confused as a chameleon in a bag of skittles.

   Might get my balls botoxed today.

   Was asked if I really believe in zombies. I informed him that no, zombies are not real and that its just a pop culture thing. He then walked away pleased with answer I had given him. Now I can't wait to see the look on his face when the next zombie outbre

   "Now, how's he gonna read that magazine all rolled up like that?"... thought the spider.

   Don't worry about what other people think because they rarely ever do.

   Bought a pair of pajamas with pockets. Thank God, cause she use to have hold everything while she slept.