Funny Status Messages

   I keep pictures of all of you in my wallet.

   I listened patiently for you to make a noise but you never did. Reluctantly I had to admit you were right, it was a bottomless pit.

   My 2011 New Years Resolution is to hangout with more than 2 of my facebook friends.

   Can't sleep. Clowns will eat me.

   So many freaks... so few circuses.

   It's been lovely, but I have to scream now.

   If history repeats itself, I'm totally getting a dinosaur.

   Please put this on your status if you know, or are related to, someone killed on the Death Star. People must understand that the Rebel Alliance is a band of murdering scum. The Empire wants only to bring peace to the galaxy but these rebels continue to ki

   And just when I saw you ... I realized I had no more money left

   I find the upper arm bone humerus

   thinks she needs a better drummer...

   an expert on woman and knows all there is to know about them because he got the best one to marry him :)

   sleeps well with others

   My three unwritten rules : 1. 2. 3.

   what does a shingle and a fat chick have in common? They both get nailed by mexicans..

   Did you know..... your middle toe is a radar detector for chair legs??!

   What did Curt Cobain say to Courtney Love before he died?... Holes gonna be big!

   Lets play post office... You lick and I'll deliver.

   Hows about you give me your number while I'm still interested.

   My Idea for a church bulletin. "Stop, drop, and roll won't work in hell ."