Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Whenever I see a post that only says "I can't" or "I can't even" I assume the person drove off a cliff and the rest of the post was supposed to say "write a complete sentence."

   All of these special little "holidays..." I heard they were gonna have a national "I Don't Give A Sh*t" day... But no one gave a sh*t so it never happened.

   United Airlines... You Might get to fly and it shows.

   "If I get off , It will be on your face" - United passenger

   Typical Hillary/Obama supporters in san bernardino today. They all are very fragile these days.

   Where is the best place to work if you have one Leg? IHOP

   "Jesus Loves You" is a great thing to hear in Church but a terrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.

   Sit back, relax and enjoy the fight... -United pilot welcoming passenger

   Funny how effective Chicago police are if you havent commited any crimes.

   If the plan was to hire a press secretary so incompetent that it distracts people from the Administration's incompetence, then today was a very successful press conference indeed.

   Spicer can't concentrate long enough to intelligently discuss the holocaust. He needs to improve his concentration. Do they have camps for that?

   It is gonna be awkward in the hall today when Jared runs into Sean and asks him what the holocaust Center is.

   I don't want our enemies to know what I am thinking, so I will keep my thought s between me and my millions of followers on twitter.

   United, we put the hospital in hospitality.

   Put my phone on airplane mode and some bloke came over and dragged me out of the house.

   Number 1 reason people voted for Hillary Clinton - They couldnt figure out how to tell their parents they were gay.

   United Airlines.... Board as Doctor, leave as patient.

   2020 democratic presidential candidate slogan - " Who want free phones?"

   2 predictions - 1) CNN says Democrats have 98% chance of winning the 2020 presidential election. 2) Their wrong again.

   If they made a movie ,you know who would make a good Obama? Morgan Freeman. Not because they look alike but because Morgan never did a damn thing for America either.