Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   They now say alot of the fake news came out of Russia. Subsequently picked up and reported by CNN

   Mexico has the FBI. The American equivalent of The girl scouts.

   Good thing scientists were WRONG about the ozone huh?

   If Obama gave out government grants for sukin dik guess what scientists would be doing......

   dems trying to censor any free speech site. And if they can't censor it, they flood it with pro-left nonsense. Sound familiar?

   Maybe if we all emailed the Constitution to each other, the NSA will finally read it.

   If anxiety was good for weight loss, I'd be back to my birth weight.

   I made a grocery list last night when I was drunk and it just says "healthy stuff," "looob," and "you don't own me."

   My memory foam has amnesia

   I purposely cry while cutting carrots so onions don't left out.

   A smart man washes his hands after he pees. A wise man doesn't pee on his fingers.

   Genders are like the twin towers, there used to be two of them and now it's a really sensitive subject.

   When you think about it, isn't egg salad really chicken salad?

   Bruce Springstein @ $500 a ticket says "Americas already great"

   If you're a man and you post pics of nothing but cute little kittens on your Facebook timeline, effective immediately according to section 19 article 3 'YOU MUST turn in your MAN card!'.

   Took the batteries out of the carbon monoxide alarm because the loud beeping was giving me a headache and making me feel sick and dizzy.

   Obama ethics lawyer slams Ivanka hiring as unethical. You should never hire someone you want to bang.

   I can't help wondering if the Oval Office has a special closet for Mike Pence.

   With increased coal production the White House hopes to make steam locomotive travel popular again. Next up, whale oil lamps.

   How we'll truly know when the economy has rebounded: When Reggae bands go back to hiring guys whose only job it is to dance.